04/04/2008 by Lee.

That’s the sticker I’m seeing on a lot of cars at the moment; SPEED KILLS. Seeing it last night for the umpteenth time got me thinking and I feel that it’s quite wrong. You see, it’s not actually possible for speed in itself to kill anyone. This morning I drove at 70 and didn’t die, I’ve been on planes doing 500 mph and lived to tell the tale, astronauts have reached speeds in the tens of thousands of miles per hour and still seem to be with us. So I think we can safely say that speed does not actually kill anyone.

“Ah-ha”, say the campaigners, “it’s crashing/hitting people at speed that kills.” Again, not technically true. Hit me on the head with a feather travelling at 50 mph and I think I’ll live, use a large hammer and I may not. So it would be more accurate to say that it’s force that is the real killer here and not the speed itself. For example, if I lower a large wrecking ball onto you the speed is frankly irrelevant, you are going to die. Sure, lower it really quickly and death may be swift and more messy yet the end result is the same.  A more real world example is that of the cliff divers of Acapulco. These people dive from cliffs into the Pacific Ocean to entertain tourists. They all live, yet if they were to repeat this stunt off say a multi-storey car park and on to a concrete road they would die. Their speed is the same at point of impact, the difference is the force acting on their bodies at point of impact. The water offers less resistance than the concrete and allows them to walk (or indeed swim) away unharmed. So you see, the velocity is irrelevant. The same is true in your car. Hit a hedge at 70 and you walk away, hit a wall at 70 and you won’t.

So, if you have one of these “Speed Kills” messages on your car or, if you know of anyone that does you must encourage them to remove it immediately as it’s plainly wrong, it’s the force.

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11/07/2007 by Lee.

Why are pidgeons more stupid than other birds?

On my drive to work I pass numerous road kills, most of which are being scavenged by birds. Crows and magpies all fly off when they hear the car approaching, generally in a safe direction. A magpie even seems to be able to deduce which side of the road I’m on and remain in place if it is in no danger. Not pidgeons, oh no, not them. Firstly, it takes them some time to detect my approach. You would think a ton of steel moving at 70 mph would make some noise, but obviously not on the correct frequency for this dumb bird. When it eventually does realise that there may be trouble on four wheels bearing down upon it, the rat of the sky goes into panic mode. Whilst evidently capable of flight, a pidgeons “fight or flight” reflex seems to have become, “fight or strut around in circles like a loon” reflex.

As I get closer, the circular srutting becomes ever more frantic, before the memory of flight trips a switch in its head. Sadly, this switch always seems to get turned on just as I get level with the soon to be “ex” pidgeon.

Luckily for me, I only caught the bird a glancing blow. No doubt enough to leave the bird playing a harp on a cloud somewhere, but without leaving the normal residual detritus all over my car. I don’t recall ever striking any bird other than a pidgeon, yet they are only one breed of this prolific species. There must be a gene or part of their DNA make up that makes them dim and susceptible to an early death.

If only we could isolate that gene and lace all Burberry clothing with it, we could solve many of societies current ills. 

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27/06/2007 by Lee.

Following on from my recent post about road speeds some of you may have been under the impression that I am a fan of speeding. This is not actually true. We’ve all seen the pimply kid with his cap on revving the nuts off his corsa or other shitty car thinking he’s the dogs bollocks. As soon as the lights go amber he’s off leaving a trail of throbbing bass behind him. Soon, he will gather at the local garage or drive through with the rest of his bass happy friends to robotically listen to shite music whilst admiring each others small blue LEDs on the bonnet.

Thes kids are plain fools. You know it, I know it, in fact the only people that don’t know is them. But all this could be about to change thanks to the good people of Australia and a cracking new ad campaign that they’ve started in New South Wales. In typical Australian style, the campaign sets out to tell these kids just what the rest of the world thinks of them as they wheel spin away from the lights. To see the ad for yourself, click here. Once you’ve seen it, I feel it is your duty as a good citizen to do likewise.

Let’s see those fingers

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25/06/2007 by Lee.

The advertising campaign tells us that the speed limit is “30 for a reason“. This has been deemed the safe and acceptable speed to travel on these roads. Fair enough, nothing wrong with that. So the same could be said for 60 mph. Where the speed limit is 60, that is because it has been decided that 60 is a fair and safe speed to use on that road. So why the hell do some people seem to think that 35 is a better option? What are they thinking at this point, ”I know the limit is 60, but frankly they don’t know what they’re on about and it should be 35. I will therefore impose this limit myself on the ever growing train of traffic behind me.”

If you feel unsafe driving at anything approaching the speed limit then either pull over or stop driving. Nobody wants you to crash, the limit is set for a reason and if you need to slow down then there is a variety of signs and road markings to advise you of this. The word “Slow” on the street is an advisory not an instruction, you do not have to brake when you see it. Whilst we’re on the subject, how about learning the different limits for a start?

It’s often the guy doing 30 on the fast roads that can cause the problem. Too often I’ve been driving along the motorway (without speeding of course) and come across the 40 mph guy. Suddenly you’re on top of them, you struggle to get out because you’re now doing half the speed of every other road user. Whilst Mr 40 mph thinks he’s driving safely, he’s actually causing problems. Although he has never had a crash they always seem to happen in his mirror for some reason.

Motorways imparticular should have a minimum speed, and the 70 mph limit is now too low. This limit was first put in place in 1965 and has not changed since. The average car in 1965 had a top speed of about 85 mph and very poor brakes by todays standards.

There is an argument (albeit tongue in cheek) that limits should actually be increased through road works. Those of you familiar with the physics of passing water through a pipe will know that the only way to get the same volume of liquid (or cars) through a narrower pipe (or contraflow) is to increase the speed of the water (or cars) through the narrower section.

Don’t try this defence in court though.

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20/06/2007 by Lee.

The Pope has this week issued guidelines for the “Pastoral care of the road“, essentially 10 commandments for motoring. This piece of work contains such gems as, “Thou shalt not make rude gestures behind the steering wheel” and that cars can be an “occassion of sin”. Presumably it makes no mention of “Thou shalt not stand in the back of a vehicle without wearing a seatbelt”.

The full list of commandments reads:

The highway to heaven

1 You shall not kill

2 The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm

3 Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you to deal with unforeseen events

4 Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents

5 Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination or an occasion for sin

6 Charitably convince the young and not-so-young not to drive when they are not in a fit condition

7 Support the families of accident victims

8 Bring guilty motorists and their victims together so they can experience forgiveness

9 On the road, protect the more vulnerable party

10 Feel responsible towards others

The Vatican states that, “as a consequence of transgressions and negligence, 1.2 million people die on the roads each year. That’s a sad reality, and at the same time a great challenge for society and the Church.” This may indeed be true, but what about the 24.7 million people currently living with AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa? What about the Vaticans refusal to condone contraception, a move that would by no means irradicate AIDS but would go a step towards a reducing the problem.

Dont’ go rushing to the bookshop to buy your updated Highway Code just yet

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