Potter potty
First off, my apologies for the lateness today. My bad.
So Harry Potter has hit our cinema screens again and the final book is due out next week. Hats off to JK Rowlings people for scheduling the 2 events so close together, it’s guaranteed to drive up sales for both. Potter madness is also starting to gain momentum. Currently, if you were to remove the i-phone, Harry Potter and porn from the web, all you would be left with is my blog and www.bringbacktheporn.com (which may or may not already exist, I’m certainly not going to check from my work machine). Rumours abound about Harrys final fate with book shops under strict rules about selling arrangements. Bloomsbury (Rowlings publisher) have been a little short sighted with this though. They implemented what we in the corporate world call a tactical rather than strategic solution.
For past Potter releases, book sellers have been told that if they sell the book early they will not be supplied with the next edition. All well and good except we have now reached the final edition. The threat doesn’t sound so strong anymore does it? Rowling is so keen for the ending not to be revealed early that she has been on several fan sites and begged them not to post any rumours. Seeing as this isn’t a fan site, I feel I am free to add my thoughts to the debate.
- Harry and Voldermort form a civil partnership. Being wizzards they “create” a child, Vol der Potter. Vol der Potter is raised in the Netherlands and becomes a big player in the international coconut trade.
- Ron discovers that upon leaving school his gingerness prohibits him from getting anywhere in life and dies destitute on the streets of Torquay where he had been operating the candy floss machine on the beach.
- Harry wakes up and discovers it was all a dream and he isn’t really a wizzard
- Ron wakes up and discovers it was all a dream. He is still ginger though and has no friends
Whilst none of these may be true, I am tempted to join the queue next weekend, purchase my book, flick to the back and scream, “Oh no, Harry dies” before retreating to a safe distance. Photocopies of the last page could be dispatched to schools up and down the country, stuck up in bus stops and playgrounds. Maybe even call into a popular talk show under false pretences and just blurt it out, “Harry was gay and died in a homophobic incident at Kings Cross.”
If you feel this is too much for todays youth, just join your local queue for the book, flick to the back and just shout, “Hooray!” at the top of your voice or “What a cop out”, maybe even, “Well bugger me!”. You see it doesn’t really matter what you shout, as long as you shout something.
If only I had the voice of Brian Blessed. “Potters alive!?”